I m walking around with a fluffy white towel, the kind you steal or at best want to steal at posh hotels in an all white Forever 21 kind of store. They are all going about their business; the patrons, mostly young girls that fade to gray from the waist down. There is a massive bathtub in the middle of the store, and due to the nature of what I m wearing, I can only assume that I am looking to take a bath, but people keep attempting to sell me things so I retreat to the side of the store where the room shoplifters are usually taken to and begin to open the door, some puerto rican shop girl with too many teeth and a hippodrome sized mouth asks if I have heard of a designer that doesn't exist, I close the door quickly.
Inside is the same white large tub and as I bend down to turn the water on, the tub is filled with Christmas and Birthday presents, I begin to move them quickly from the tub and then I look over my shoulder and there is my real Mom; healthy, gorgeous, not addicted or infected; she is flanked to the right by 2 shorter people whom I don't & can't recognize. She begins to say something and I cut her off. She looks at me with my eyes and looks so surprised, as if playing into the perfect face I would expect her to have had she wanted to find me and have a conversation that never existed.
I turn and someone is inches from my face waking me up. Then I really wake up. Matt is making coffee and has picked Iggy up and placed him at the foot of the bed, I feel Kaya next to my back, snoring and humming and the sun permeates our room. I wonder if this visit is mine or hers. The last time she was in my dreams, she was lopping off swan heads nightly and plaguing me with visions only heroin could cure.
Iggy paws his way up to my face and yawns a landfill in my mouth, Kaya stretches and heads out of the covers as well; Matt asks if I want him to put some water on and I say yes. It's another morning, normal, working as usual in the way comfort can, and yet, it's something else....
Something else entirely.
