Don't Fucking Embarrass Me.

Fucking New Year's Eve. It just doesn't hold the same weight it once did when I was removed from who I really was and my average state was incapacitated. I most likely will not even be awake when midnight strikes and it's fortunate that I am already part of a 12 step group so I have additional help picking up the pieces.
New Year's Eve signifies meaningless and usually uneventful sex with a stranger that upon further inspection in the morning has fucking bacnce, has an unusual gray cat that has a questionable eye twitch and a tired red velvet couch........uhh, perhaps I have went too far into the darkness...the above are things that I have no experience with at all........;|
New Year's is another day much like the 4th of July, that is another excuse to get crunked, junked and fucked with strange people wearing even stranger hats and where bad habit forming takes place. It is my hope that you will keep your collective vaginas and dicks on lockdown unless you are willing to go to all lengths to rid yourself of a mystery rash and or warts, keep your resolutions, or even better don't make any, get that shit done every day rather than betting all your chips in one day like all the rest of the free world and last but not least, do not attempt to recreate a Korbel champagne commercial tonight, accept wherever you are and deal with it. If you try and make it a Yellowtail kind of experience, everyone will just feel bad for you and your wasted Brute aftershave that scored you nothing but looks of pity and still, no closer to getting your wang fondled. Gals, keep the girls on lockdown, pull your fucking skirt down and for fucks sake don not do sake bombs, that shit is as sloppy as your blowjobs in the bartender's Dodge Stratus.

Have a great one folks and I hope to hear all the dirt next year.

Hierarchical Scale of Avoidance just to get to 2 years.

Today means many things. The hierarchical order will fall as least to most important.
If ever there was a designer that is not boring me to fucking tears it is Bora Aksu.
Here is the Spring 2012 line.

For your weary little at a loss for interesting conversation at your friend's dinner party debacle is Ross Goldstein. He is showing at Fuse Gallery until 1/11/2012.
93 2nd Ave (btwn 5 & 6th Sts)
NYC
Gorilla Grape:

And......today is 2 years. 2 years since I had decided that I was the owner of good ideas and hasty decisions. 2 years since I have knocked on a stranger's door and waited for hours for a spot closer to death but never the end. 2 years in which acceptance has replaced fear of everything & maybe even you.
Heroin will always have a place in my life, it just won't be in my veins anymore.
Thank you.

Dear Mom,

It's all winding down with a tremendous whisper

cold secrets and colder innovations being made on the other side of the tracks

I don't see it anymore, although you claim to


I won't hold it hostage to a visceral concept, my hope is that neither will you

A wooden desk being sat at in attempts to reek a silent havoc and what you can't remember doesn't make for artistic royalties

but maybe someone will see the license and present you with a fair amount of engaging rhetoric and you can sleep at night


wouldn't want to walk into the woods with you but would feel more than comfortable exhuming your bones and decorating my garden with them

Make it your last exhale on that soft pack Winston your last

I'll pretend you are a human being

you can pretend that too if you like.....

Fogs rolling in

I guess you'll be shipping out


bring this stick, needle and can of nitrate with

you...

I wouldn't want you to get lonely.

Carven & Spartacus Chetwynd.

I m fairly certain I m going to go right ahead & freak the fuck out. Carven has well been on it's way back into the forefront, however the line's triumphant return is being expedited by designer Guillaume Henry who has turned tartan out, resuscitated the art of line, prints & has accomplished my resolving to become very ugly if I were to get into an "altercation" @ Barney's with a fierce competitor who had been eying the same dress. The 2012 Resort line is down right swoon worthy.

Next Stop, New Museum
235 Bowery (231)
Exhibiting till 1/1/2012 So hurry the fuck up.
NYC
Spartacus Chetwynd:
Home Made Tasers
As part of Studio 231

Enjoy.

You would look better wearing a fucking colostomy bag.

Last night I was watching one of guilty pleasures (Wife Swap) & there was a husband of one of the wives that was a tremendous tub of lard. I can always believe what people have the gumption to sling on national T.V. and else where, but this fool's choice words were incredible.

The visiting wife that was paired up with this man had an organic farm. The wife was explaining to him the importance of knowing where your food comes from, how it comes to you etc...she also was an advocate of eating what you nurture and grow; I m not really down with that, but she had point. If you are going to choose to eat animals, at least be informed of the journey that meal makes from farm to plate.
This obese sweet ignorant man stated "I don't want to meet my meat. I just wanna go to the store & buy it. I don't want to go to places where I could get organic meat (& or food) because I don't want to associate with those people because I think they are freaks."

This is also the same family that had "cool school." A day where the children were taught to be "cool" & dress in low budget Mid American fashion that the masses cling to to gain social acceptability.

(Note: COACH is NOT a predominant force in the fashion industry, neither is Juicy Couture. They are commercial, predictable and anything you may purchase at the mall has zero pull in the industry.) So these feeble attempts to hem & haw materialistically in front of your said audience are null & void. You are only making your repressed issues apparent & your idiosyncrasies obvious.

When you are in debt, dying of heart blockages due to your eating habits and your 12 year old daughter has been knocked up by the school jock, I for one will feel for you for exactly 1 minute........ then I will proceed to make an offer on your foreclosure. How many acres do you have?

Schnabel & Fabia & my inability to prohibit poop talk.

Yesterday was great. I won't get into it because it will take something away from the experience for me, but it was perfect.
In the meantime, Lola Montes Schnabel (yeah ANOTHER Schnabel) has some works worth checking out.
Hole Gallery Bowery NYC

Also on the roster is Natalia Fabia
Jan 14-Feb 11
Punk Rock Rainbow Sparkle in Gallery 1

Jonathan Levine Gallery
529 W 20th St 9th Floor
NYC
It's fucking odd. Every time I see Jonathan Levine, I manage to talk about poop and my schedule as of late with it; what the fuck? I mean flippin everywhere; at weddings, pool parties, other galleries & bless his heart if he doesn't take it in stride every time. If you get the additional treat of meeting Jonathan when you visit his space, be prepared to be jealous. He's a snappy dresser, exudes Willy Wonka, George Carlin & business savvy all ambulating about as a "human being."
Enjoy.