Ebay buyer feedback smack down, Jasper Johns & true grit are for breakfast.

And I digress. Did I really picture my recent Ebay buyer to look like this....and that's why when she pleasantly and maybe a little too enthusiastically asked me to leave her feedback I wrote back that I had been out of town due to a death in the family and that I would leave her feedback now (no such death has occurred), in manner of exasperated, emotionally spent human; just to have her write a brief synopsis of condolences that anyone would feel comfort upon hearing that made me feel like a kitten kicker? Yes. Yes I did. What is wrong with me? I can't blame it all on a drooping uterus that is making more ornery than usual. I am an asshole.

This tuned in hero always makes me feel better. The strokes are clearly an urge for me to remember Easter eggs fondly without my questioning bullshit of said rabbit's motives, remember that I did not always have an aversion to clowns and that at one point in time I quite enjoyed Disney films, particularly Lady & the Tramp. The reason for all of this is that what Jasper Johns does for me, is remind me that cynicism can be a tool of separation and arrogance rather than wit and intelligence.
Here's a recipe for Vegan biscuits and gravy, if you want to die feeling fulfilled it will not happen until you consume these.

Recipe submitted by funnygirl28@yahoo.com

Vegan Southern Biscuits and Gravy

Ingredients (use vegan versions):

1 package prepared, frozen soy sausage crumbles or patties
Up to 1/4 cup flour (preferably white but whole wheat works too)
Up to 4 cups plain soy milk (full fat or low fat works best but non fat may be used)
Betty Crocker Bisquick Original All-Purpose Baking Mix (use 1/2 cup shortening and water to make biscuits)
lots of pepper (and I mean LOTS)
lots of salt or salt seasoning (I use Lawrys or Johnnys seasoning salt)
1/2 medium onion, finely chopped
Up to 1/2 cup vegetable oil

Directions:

Prepare biscuits according to package directions - preheat oven to bake biscuits but let dough sit, covered (on counter or in refridgerator) while you prepare the gravy. Remember the secret to great biscuits is to use COLD margarine or shortening and to not overmix.

Turn stove on to medium high, and preheat a drizzle of vegetable oil in the pan. When pan is hot, add chopped onions and saute until almost cooked. Add frozen sausage crumbles and continue to saute until cooked. Set aside cooked onion/sausage mixture in a bowl.

In the same pan, reduce heat to medium, and prepare a roux by mixing about 2-3 tablespoons flour with enough vegetable oil to make a heavy paste (about 1-2 tablespoons of oil). Add oil and/or flour to get the correct consistency. Stir and cook the roux for a couple of minutes over the medium heat, then slowly add about a cup of soymilk to the mixture, stirring continuously. You must stir continously to avoid lumps.

Contiune to simmer the gravy over medium heat and add more soy milk as needed (this may require several cups of milk). If you accidentally add too much milk, just add a bit more flour (not more than a teaspoon at a time). Also, the longer you cook the gravy, the more it will reduce and thicken.

As the gravy is simmering and reducing, put the biscuits in the oven and bake according to package instructions.

Add the onion/sausage mixture to the gravy and continue to stir and simmer until the biscuits are done. Add salt and pepper to taste - you will probably find that you'll use more salt and pepper than you expected.

Halve the warm biscuits and pour gravy mixture over them and serve. Yum!

Serves: 3-4