You know, it's an odd feeling to be an addict in recovery. An odd challenge you're faced with. People come and go in meetings; you see them and then you don't. When a bunch of junkies are trying to stay clean, you are bound to have some fatalities. Be that as it may, it seems that there has been ALOT lately. Even if you didn't know the person on an intimate level, it becomes a family/team effort in sticking together and is devastating when we "lose one." It almost seems for me personally, that with outsiders, non addicts, associates, elder family members etc.. I have become slightly jaded. Death is always in your face and never far away from you when you have a hovering and patient monkey brooding over your livelihood, but it seems difficult for me to emote with those above mentioned but very easily felt for my kind, inner circle folk and ANY animal I come across. I have shed more tears over the fate of a deer running across Highway 35 than some people that have passed in my life. I know that sounds thoroughly fucked and maybe it is.
Be that as it may, it never gets easier with people afflicted in "our" (addicts) way. It never doesn't hurt that another addict couldn't get or stay on the wagon. The death toll that overdosing is racking up is inconceivable and hellacious. I prefer it not to be this way.
