Nico & Optical tear jerks.

Nico from the Velvet Underground is as ubiquitous to me and growing up as cabs to NYC. I have a love hate relationship actually with the idea of her.
In some ways, she reminds me of what a horror my Mother was while incapacitated on dope and other mental indulgences, voluntary or not; but the transparency of her, all that melancholy and stoic emanation whether it was manipulated or not is identifiable for me on a not often visited level; but that's another tale entirely....
Ahh, to be sad and fatally gorgeous, there are worse fates. Nothing is more frightening than a woman with no secrets.

Oscar Ciutat: Caged.

Graphic Art that doesn't make me hurl & Black Metal Vegan Chow.

Nacho Ormaechea is a Paris based graphic designer who is making me lean towards graphic art rather than eschew it. I have been trained to frown upon graphic art as a real medium & what I have chosen to do is gag my ego and enjoy.

I had the great fortune of seeing this anomaly recently in Brooklyn. He was one of the judges for the Beard & Mustache Competition and by God this bitch delivered. He is delightful as an icicle piercing your soul in a thunderstorm at the end of a rainbow. Run to the hills bitch.

VEGAN BLACK METAL CHEF:
Tempura Asparagus Sushi
Why no list of ingredients?



I refrained from putting a list of ingredients at the start of this one mainly because it would take up too much time and have too many optional ingredients.



If you want something writen down so you can see easily here it is…





Rice:



Jasmine rice

Sugar

Salt

White Vinegar (or Rice wine vinegar)



The batter/breading:



Self rising flour

White wine

Salt

Garlic powder (optional)



Breading – Panko Japanese breadcrumbs





Sushi Filling



Tempura asparagus

Nori (dried seaweed sheets)

I usually just add some bell pepper, or avocado, or thin pieces of green onion

Flied Garlic (optional…but really good)

Tofutti Brand “Better Than Cream Cheese” (Garlic and Herb Flavor)(more on this below)



Seaweed salad (more on this below also)





Runes, spikes, Ice and Woods…



Someone wrote that I should warn people that the Viking Roll and Black Metal Rolls were a joke and not to eat them….



Should every knife be labeled “do not cut head off with”



Just doing my part to pull the weeds of humanity. If you are smart enough to turn on a computer and find youtube… you should be smart enough to ride this ride.





Lets talk about Tofutti Brand “Better than Cream Cheese” (Garlic and Herb Flavor) for a second.



This stuff…. I keep going back and fourth about.



First thing to be said is that it is pretty much always good on sushi as long as you don’t go absolutely nuts with it.



On other things,like bagels, sometimes I think its terrible and just when I have my mind made up that its really terrible, I will have it on a cinnamon raisin bagel and its really good. So I keep flip flopping on this shit in general but try it for yourself.





On seaweed salad



One person wrote “show us how to make the seaweed salad”!



To this I reply… I dont think I have ever seen the parts of seaweed salad sold separately. I have only seen it as a prepackaged already put together thing.



You can buy it in little packs in the frozen or refrigerated section of your Asian store. Here is another thing where you might have to try out a few different brands. Good Seaweed salad is fucking amazing and you will never leave a place that sells it without having some again. However there also exists bad seaweed salad.



Bad Seaweed salad can be horrible and often tastes like you are licking a large wet dog…not that I know what that tastes like.



So in conclusion… one last piece of advice. Make this shit! It is seriously really really fucking good. I eat this once or twice a month at least Enjoy the fine aroma of your asparagus pee as you peer into the toilet to read your fate of the viking roll you just ate.

Snakebites, Social networking & your Aged routine.

It's a left right left situation, always is

the beat is beat

Seeing you in all your self induced glory has made me no worse for the wear, but I sure don't kindly to your delusions.

A haggard flow equates to sadder times back in a time to forget, but won't.

Left, left, left right left

The secrets that you claim will make you interesting are stolen and I know you asshole. I fucking know you.

It's an absorption of idiocy by proxy if not careful to take protective measures on a good foot out of your way down

Left, left, left right left

Your impulses are not molding you into a quirk ridden "goodtime", just a lesser organism fancying themselves as real with an acute and fictitious sense of social savvy.

Left, left, left...hmmm.............

Gracious, your broad sense of direction gave out; maybe a well played out melodrama on a social networking will bring you back into the fold.

Give it go then love.....

"Little Johnny just took his first step towards the stove!......"

It's working already.

You are not PUNK as fuck.

I just want to clear up what PUNK is and isn't. I always seem to observe a shit ton of confused, fictitious laden angst, teens ambulating about. Not even in the mall where you would normally find them, fucking everywhere. Think Joe's Crab Shack. I have always had a bit of an arrogant and maybe misplaced beef with these fools, partly because I grew up on PUNK and it is still a huge part of my life. PUNK has been the base camp for me getting balls rolling and goals started. Sure, it may be with rage as a fueling factor in some way, but that fades and you are left with some grit and accomplishments and at that point, who gives a shit where it originated?

I can promise that THIS fool is not close to an embodiment at all, but this is what it has come to. Newer generations have only this to go on as far as the broad spectrum goes and far be it from accurate. I m also perplexed as to why PUNK has become mall rat, Spencer's manager, video game "nice." Everyone is a fucking sweetheart and drinks lemonade. When I was a kid, I was beyond pissed and was certainly riled by more than my Step Mom waking me up. Important issues worth getting one's dander up have fallen to the wayside and microwave pizza bites, Degrassi and obesity have decided to stand in it's absence. The following is what PUNK IS NOT just for all intensive purposes.

This is what PUNK is, embodies, and will always be. I m going to go ahead and cheese out here. Never say die!

Side note; Gothic folk get just as upset when you classify them as punk as punks get when you call them Goth. Get your categories straight, or even better get rid of them all together and initiate a conversation with someone and you'll be pleased to find they don't want to eat your baby or steal your purse.

Enough Bitter, here's some sweet;) (Post Punk Kitchen, Isa)

Gingerbread Cut-Out Cookies
Makes about 16 cookies (depending on the size of your cutters)

1/3 cup canola oil
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup molasses
1/4 cup plain soymilk

2 cups whole wheat pastry flour or all-purpose flour (or a mix of both)
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

spice blend:
1/2 teaspoon each ground nutmeg, cloves and cinnamon
1 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger

Directions
In a large bowl whisk together oil and sugar for about 3 minutes. Add molasses and soymilk. The molasses and soymilk won’t really blend with the oil but that’s ok.

Sift in all of the other dry ingredients, mixing about half way through. When all of the dry ingredients are added, mix until a stiff dough is formed. Flatten the dough into a disk, wrap in plastic wrap and chill for an hour or up to 3 days in advance. If you chill longer than an hour you may want to let it sit for 10 minutes to warm up a bit before proceeding.
Preheat oven to 350 F. Lightly grease your cookie sheets or line with parchment paper.

On a lightly floured surface roll the dough out to a little less than 1/4 inch thick. Cut out your shapes with your cookie cutters and use a thin spatula to gently place on cookie sheets. If you are using them to decorate a tree or something, remember to punch a hole in their heads (!) before baking. Bake for 8 minutes.

Modern minimalist gingerbread guys
Remove from oven and let them cool for 2 minutes on the baking sheet then move to a cooling rack. Wait until they are completely cool before icing.

Fucking Baldwin & Scientific Psycho Tanks.

The glory surrounding Alec Baldwin is vast and never ending and his recent ejection off of American Airlines is but another plus in my book. Even Baldwin's spokesman's bullshit soaked explanation is a treat.

Actor Alec Baldwin was removed from an American Airlines flight leaving Los Angeles for New York on Tuesday when he was apparently too engrossed in a game of Zynga's "Words With Friends" to power down his iPad.

"Flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing WORDS W FRIENDS while we sat at the gate, not moving. #nowonderamericaairisbankrupt," the actor tweeted.

The incident caused a one-hour delay in the flight and kicked off a flurry of Internet chatter. Baldwin's own Twitter feed has been pulsing with caustic comments about his removal.

"Last flight w American," the "30 Rock" star tweeted Tuesday afternoon, "Where retired Catholic school gym teachers from the 1950s find jobs as flight attendants."

More diplomatically, Baldwin's spokesman Matthew Hilzik said in a statement to MSNBC that the actor is "so in love with 'Words with Friends' that he would risk getting thrown off a flight to play." He also confirmed that Baldwin was re-booked on a later American Airlines flight to New York. (Yahoo News feed.)

Here's a Carsten Höller hanky for your runny nosed, art fevered head.
:Experience

New Museum
235 Bowery
New York, NY 10002
Showing till 1/15/2012