Fucking Wal Mart.

Everyone on planet earth has access to research materials and readily available information on just about anything in the free world; however, why people or at best people attempting to pass for human are still patrons of such an evil, wrong and fucked establishment is beyond me. Being from the South, I understand the economic dire straits one can be in and also understand how Wal Mart may seem very well like a viable option, I also know that if a PhD infested padded elbow wearer told me that a Gila monster had a creme brulee after taste that it would not be enough to convince me to eat the fucking thing. Common sense MUST kick in at some point, no? Let's take a gander at why Wal Mart is not only physically dangerous to frequent, but the chances of one getting some kind of odd disease because of one of the patrons brushing your fucking sleeve are greatly increased when you get down to it.
Black Friday: Shootings overshadow US shopping bonanza
The US Christmas shopping season kicked-off by 'Black Friday' is marred by a series of shootings as bargain-hunters flood stores.

12:02PM GMT 26 Nov 2011

The incidents, including three shootings, two robberies and a pepper spray attack mostly took place at branches of the American supermarket chain, Walmart.

A man is in a stable but critical condition after being shot in the early hours of Friday morning as he left a Walmart store in San Leandro, California.

Shots were fired when he resisted two armed robbers who demanded he hand-over the items he had just bought.

One of the most dramatic incidents took place in another Walmart store in Los Angeles, when a woman used pepper spray on fellow shoppers so that she could grab Xbox 360s.

In Myrtle Beach, South Carolina a woman was shot in the foot by a robber as she loaded her purchases into her car.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiSmlmXp-aU
Here's a few of the patrons of Wal Mart courtesy of peopleofwalmart.com.

For fuck's sake, go to a farmer's market, attempt to eat something NOT out of a fucking box, does your already obese child really need a video game console? How about going to the park and enjoying nature or maybe God for bid pick up a book, a real live book where you turn the pages and READ. As prosaic as some of these ideas may seem, I am still a massive fan of them and have to really fight to not wish a natural disaster on all and sundry due to human beings complete lack of respect for it. The rate at which America is dumbing down is close to inconceivable. Before you slip into the Jersey Shore, Ugg boot, feather extension, low pants that make me look like I m dragging around my own bag of shit void, take your will to be human and think for your self back. It's never to late, unless you are already Tivoing the Kardashains, then there is no hope for you and I beg you to never cross my path.
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
Mark Twain

After the insidious banality of small talk over an awkward dinner...

You must be bored to tears after undergoing lengthy convos doting on Aunt Sarah's recent hip surgery and Reiki classes, witnessing your Mother's feeble grasp of control on the only day she can really exude it and trying to be interested while all the testosterone decide on bogarting the T.V. because of football. (I dealt with none of this by the way and it was fabulous.)
Nothing renews like the weird and avant garde. I find that editorials spewing a little grit always make me hopeful; even if it's dripping with a little cheese, however, the powers that be are becoming better at the recapturing of such sentiments. One of my favorite conceptual fashion ridden subjects are gorgeous folks featuring Mohawks and attire whose worth could outfit a small village in Somalia.
I don't know if it's punk laden roots, the Native part of me or I am just slow to conform or maybe I am just a giant prick, either way I have had a Mohawk longer than I have had any other hair style throughout my life. My sincere hope is that I have not worn out my welcome and look like a Hot Topic aficionado, if I am wearing that out, please tell me, my virtue in the way of appropriate quaffs must be preserved. Enjoy.

Why I don't celebrate the day 60 million of my ancestors were slaughtered.

I am a a tribal member of the Cherokee Nation for those who aren't aware and I hold Thanksgiving in very low regard. Below is a brief story about why.

AUTHOR: Anju Kaur

Desiree Shelley's family has observed Thanksgiving for generations, but that doesn't mean she doesn't understand the protests of fellow Indians who don't.

A native of Baltimore, Shelley has roots in the Monacan tribe of Virginia. Her father is part Monacan, a tribe that was "Christianized" shortly after the Jamestown colonization in the early 1600s, she said.

"Even if some American Indians celebrate (the holiday), there is a prevailing feeling of hurt for a lot of people," Shelley said. "We have all been assimilated and colonized. We have lost our history, our language and our culture. What do you expect?"



The iconic Thanksgiving image of colonists and Indians sharing a feast has become the symbol of caring and cooperation among peoples, but for many Native Americans it is a reminder of betrayal, bloodshed and continuing discrimination.

"It's a day of mourning," said William Redwing Tayac, chief of one of Maryland's indigenous tribes, the Piscataway Indian Nation. "Indians are victims of the American holocaust. That's the truth. I'm not going to paint a rosy picture."

The popular conception of the first Thanksgiving of 1621 is a myth, he said. Indians taught colonists how to farm and survive in the new frontier, only to be burned at the stake several years later as the first victims of the Salem witch trials, Tayac said. The tribes of Massachusetts still have demonstrations on Thanksgiving.

Tayac pays tribute to his people on Thanksgiving Day. He fasts during the day with his family and performs a sacred harvest ceremony before sitting down to dinner in the evening. If they have turkey, that's just because it's traditional Indian food, he said.

His fight for his people continues well beyond the holiday. Tayac is involved in a "de-anglization" program that takes assimilated American Indians and "brings them back to being Indians," he said. They are taught the culture, religion, history and traditions of their people.

Joseph Stands With Many, a Cherokee Indian from Baltimore, is not as angry about Thanksgiving as Tayac. "Once a year people think about Indians then they forget about them," said Stands With Many. "Some people are militant and get bitter during Thanksgiving. I don't believe in holding on to things like that."

But some things still irritate him.

"Why does American Indian Heritage Month have to be in November?" he asked. And why do people use those cut-out decorations of Indians and Pilgrims?

"No one wants to believe that it is offensive," he said. "It continues the subliminal stereotype."

Stands With Many has complained about those decorations at his son's school, but the school board has refused to take them off the walls.

He has turned his frustration into an education opportunity -- giving up his 9-to-5 job to tell Cherokee stories to elementary school children, including a performance last year at the National Museum of the American Indian in Washington.

Giving thanks is a cycle of ceremonies for Stands With Many and his family. It begins with the planting season and ends with the harvest. But Thanksgiving Day is usually spent with his mother.

"Last year Mom and I went to McDonalds," he said. "Sometimes we have Chinese food."

Thanksgiving has little meaning for Shelley. It's just a day to get together with family and have a nice meal, she said.

"The concept is not inherently bad," she added. "I wouldn't want to get rid of it."

As president of the American Indian Student Union at the University of Maryland, Shelley, too, wants to use Thanksgiving as an opportunity to educate.

She unsuccessfully tried to find grant money this year for education outreach to elementary and middle school children, but she is looking at other opportunities for next year that would redress the American Indian experience.

It is the historical distortions, the cultural stereotypes and general ignorance about indigenous peoples that makes Thanksgiving somewhat revolting to American Indians, said Keith Colston, executive director of the Maryland Commission on Indian Affairs. Most do not celebrate Thanksgiving. If they do, it's not based on today's thoughts and ideas about the holiday, he said.

"For me personally, it is another day to get together with friends and family," said Colston, a member of the Tuscarora-Lumbee tribe of North Carolina.

But for everyone who does celebrate it, he advised: "People should know the historical background of the holidays they celebrate. Native Americans shared a feast with the Pilgrims and gave thanks for the bounty of food and for each other's company. But Thanksgiving after that was a betrayal."

I felt this bit was important for obvious reasons but on the trivial and petty side, stop wishing me a Happy fucking Thanksgiving. It does not hold the same meaning for me as it may for you; not only is it a blatant display of ignorance on your part, I have no desire to be reminded of 60 million of my ancestors being slaughtered on the day white people became arrogant and greed ridden; a theme that would continue throughout history and surge into present day.
I do wish everyone to enjoy their families and friends every day and not just an assigned day that white secular America claims to have hold on. Part from the herd, banish fear of what others think and live your life; as YOU see fit.
Do-da-da-go-hv-i.

Terror in the wake of a mean vagina.

I find it incredible the haste a strayed and deceptive vagina can make when attempting to instill it's wrong views in the mutual company it and it's husband once shared. My friend that I mentioned a couple of posts ago, the succubus associated with him has rapidly planted seeds of commiseration, pity and agreement amongst whom she has concerns about her being viewed superficially. The insecurity that merits this kind of veracious action is almost admirable in it's schizophrenic whirlwind of "like me." A cheating silent type simply ends up like this syphilitic sorority member or even worse a 40 something cruising Work Out World for the latest Jersey Shore extra; both are bitter ends.

Oh yeah, this screams success.

This is the prettiest picture a hateful vagina will find.

Let's revisit the best show ever to appear on television and the glorious hopeful return to HBO in the near distant future. Your wish is granted, long live Jambi.

Ebay buyer feedback smack down, Jasper Johns & true grit are for breakfast.

And I digress. Did I really picture my recent Ebay buyer to look like this....and that's why when she pleasantly and maybe a little too enthusiastically asked me to leave her feedback I wrote back that I had been out of town due to a death in the family and that I would leave her feedback now (no such death has occurred), in manner of exasperated, emotionally spent human; just to have her write a brief synopsis of condolences that anyone would feel comfort upon hearing that made me feel like a kitten kicker? Yes. Yes I did. What is wrong with me? I can't blame it all on a drooping uterus that is making more ornery than usual. I am an asshole.

This tuned in hero always makes me feel better. The strokes are clearly an urge for me to remember Easter eggs fondly without my questioning bullshit of said rabbit's motives, remember that I did not always have an aversion to clowns and that at one point in time I quite enjoyed Disney films, particularly Lady & the Tramp. The reason for all of this is that what Jasper Johns does for me, is remind me that cynicism can be a tool of separation and arrogance rather than wit and intelligence.
Here's a recipe for Vegan biscuits and gravy, if you want to die feeling fulfilled it will not happen until you consume these.

Recipe submitted by funnygirl28@yahoo.com

Vegan Southern Biscuits and Gravy

Ingredients (use vegan versions):

1 package prepared, frozen soy sausage crumbles or patties
Up to 1/4 cup flour (preferably white but whole wheat works too)
Up to 4 cups plain soy milk (full fat or low fat works best but non fat may be used)
Betty Crocker Bisquick Original All-Purpose Baking Mix (use 1/2 cup shortening and water to make biscuits)
lots of pepper (and I mean LOTS)
lots of salt or salt seasoning (I use Lawrys or Johnnys seasoning salt)
1/2 medium onion, finely chopped
Up to 1/2 cup vegetable oil

Directions:

Prepare biscuits according to package directions - preheat oven to bake biscuits but let dough sit, covered (on counter or in refridgerator) while you prepare the gravy. Remember the secret to great biscuits is to use COLD margarine or shortening and to not overmix.

Turn stove on to medium high, and preheat a drizzle of vegetable oil in the pan. When pan is hot, add chopped onions and saute until almost cooked. Add frozen sausage crumbles and continue to saute until cooked. Set aside cooked onion/sausage mixture in a bowl.

In the same pan, reduce heat to medium, and prepare a roux by mixing about 2-3 tablespoons flour with enough vegetable oil to make a heavy paste (about 1-2 tablespoons of oil). Add oil and/or flour to get the correct consistency. Stir and cook the roux for a couple of minutes over the medium heat, then slowly add about a cup of soymilk to the mixture, stirring continuously. You must stir continously to avoid lumps.

Contiune to simmer the gravy over medium heat and add more soy milk as needed (this may require several cups of milk). If you accidentally add too much milk, just add a bit more flour (not more than a teaspoon at a time). Also, the longer you cook the gravy, the more it will reduce and thicken.

As the gravy is simmering and reducing, put the biscuits in the oven and bake according to package instructions.

Add the onion/sausage mixture to the gravy and continue to stir and simmer until the biscuits are done. Add salt and pepper to taste - you will probably find that you'll use more salt and pepper than you expected.

Halve the warm biscuits and pour gravy mixture over them and serve. Yum!

Serves: 3-4

Flesh Eating Dope?!?!?!

So I am sitting in a meeting today and my friend turns to me and informs me of  Krokodil (pronounced Crocodile), the new Russian heroin that eats one's flesh and leaves a life expectancy of the user to a measly 2-3 years. I mean.....look at this shit, Jesus Fuck.......we're all "War on drugs" and these ice cold commies are just putting an end to their epidemic annoyances. We can't even get Jersey Shore off the air.

What we CAN do is get on the proverbial good foot read these immediately if you haven't already and for fuck's sake if you haven't, don't divulge this information publicly; you would be letting your ignorance ambulate like a seizure ridden glass sorter for all and sundry. Spoons down, hardcovers up.-H

Say it ain't so.

My morning routine consists of coffee, pinching and frequenting fashion blogs. I know it's sort of akin to a tabloid paper, but I like it and can't seem to stop anyway. One my regs I usually swim through is Vogue Italia. The most discerning piece of advice or encouragement I have seen in a while was giving me the finger this AM. In the Vogue Mania section was a headline that stated, "UGG: a fun boho footwear option" with this awful depiction of someone trying to be worth emulating.
Listen, I had my moment as well. There was a time when I could not make my way out of the UGG box and saw no other options, however; I am a grown woman with skills and resources and I can proudly say that not only I have I shunned these cro mag, denim skirt 15 year old girl advocators, I have banished them from my environment. I advise you do the same, especially if you are over the age of 19. Have some respect.

Tina Turner is one of my favorite people on planet earth. I find her to be all of things you hear about and more than you would expect. The majesty of her is highlighted by Mad Max and hommage will be paid. Balmain is STILL tipping their hat to her after all these years. I am a bit bias, I love anything post apocalyptic. I m storing juice right now as we speak.....